Sphere (深海圆疑) 原版小说-第49部分

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He　jumped　back　into　the　water。

0500　HOURS

The　sphere　gleamed　in　the　light。　Norman　saw　himself　reflected　in　its　perfectly　polished　surface；　then　saw　his　image　break　up；　fragmented　on　the　convolutions；　as　he　moved　around　to　the　back。
To　the　door。
It　looked　like　a　mouth；　he　thought。　Like　the　maw　of　some　primitive　creature；　about　to　eat　him。　Confronted　by　the　sphere；　seeing　once　again　the　alien；　unhuman　pattern　of　the　convolutions；　he　felt　his　intention　dissolve。　He　was　suddenly　afraid。　He　didn't　think　he　could　go　through　with　it。
Don't　be　silly；　he　told　himself。　Harry　did　it。　And　Beth　did　it。　They　survived。
He　examined　the　convolutions；　as　if　for　reassurance。　But　there　wasn't　any　reassurance　to　be　obtained。　Just　curved　grooves　in　the　metal；　reflecting　back　the　light。
Okay；　he　thought　finally。　I'll　do　it。　I've　e　this　far；　I've　survived　everything　so　far。　I　might　as　well　do　it。
Go　ahead　and　open　up。
But　the　sphere　did　not　open。　It　remained　exactly　as　it　was；　a　gleaming；　polished；　perfect　shape。
What　was　the　purpose　of　the　thing？　He　wished　he　understood　its　purpose。
He　thought　of　Dr。　Stein　again。　What　was　Stein's　favorite　＇＇330＇＇　line？　〃Understanding　is　a　delaying　tactic。〃　Stein　used　to　get　angry　about　that。　When　the　graduate　students　would　intellectualize；　going　on　and　on　about　patients　and　their　problems；　he　would　interrupt　in　annoyance；　〃Who　cares？　Who　cares　whether　we　understand　the　psychodynamics　in　this　case？　Do　you　want　to　understand　how　to　swim；　or　do　you　want　to　jump　in　and　start　swimming？　Only　people　who　are　afraid　of　the　water　want　to　understand　it。　Other　people　jump　in　and　get　wet。〃
Okay；　Norman　thought。　Let's　get　wet。
He　turned　to　face　the　sphere；　and　thought；　Open　up。
The　sphere　did　not　open。
〃Open　up；〃　he　said　aloud。　The　sphere　did　not　open。
Of　course　he　knew　that　wouldn't　work；　because　Ted　had　tried　it　for　hours。　When　Harry　and　Beth　went　in；　they　hadn't　said　anything。　They　just　did　something　in　their　minds。
He　closed　his　eyes；　focused　his　attention；　and　thought；　Open　up。
He　opened　his　eyes　and　looked　at　the　sphere。　It　was　still　closed。
I　am　ready　for　you　to　open　up；　he　thought。　I　am　ready　now。
Nothing　happened。　The　sphere　did　not　open。


Norman　hadn't　considered　the　possibility　that　he　would　be　unable　to　open　the　sphere。　After　all；　two　others　had　already　done　it。　How　had　they　managed　it？
Harry；　with　his　logical　brain；　had　been　the　first　to　figure　it　out。　But　Harry　had　only　figured　it　out　after　he　had　seen　Beth's　tape。　So　Harry　had　discovered　a　clue　in　the　tape；　an　important　clue。
Beth　had　also　reviewed　the　tape；　watching　it　again　and　again；　until　she　finally　figured　it　out；　too。　Something　in　the　tape　。。。
Too　bad　he　didn't　have　the　tape　here；　Norman　thought。　But　he　had　seen　it　often；　he　could　probably　reconstruct　it；　play　it　back　in　his　mind。　How　did　it　go？　In　his　mind　he　saw　the　images：　Beth　and　Tina　talking。　Beth　eating　cake。　Then　＇＇331＇＇　Tina　had　said　something　about　the　tapes　being　stored　in　the　submarine。　And　Beth　said　something　back。　Then　Tina　had　moved　away；　out　of　the　picture；　but　she　had　said；　〃Do　you　think　they'll　ever　get　the　sphere　open？〃
And　Beth　said；　〃Maybe。　I　don't　know。〃　And　the　sphere　had　opened　at　that　moment。
Why？
〃Do　you　think　they'll　ever　get　the　sphere　open？〃　Tina　had　asked。　And　in　response　to　such　a　question；　Beth　must　have　imagined　the　sphere　open；　must　have　seen　an　image　of　the　open　sphere　in　her　mind
There　was　a　deep；　low　rumble；　a　vibration　that　filled　the　room。
The　sphere　was　open；　the　door　gaping　wide　and　black。


That's　it；　he　thought。　Visualize　it　happening　and　it　happens。　Which　meant　that　if　he　also　visualized　the　sphere　door　closed…
With　another　deep　rumble；　the　sphere　closed。
…or　open…
The　sphere　opened　again。
〃I'd　better　not　press　my　luck；〃　he　said　aloud。　The　door　was　still　open。　He　peered　in　the　doorway　but　saw　only　deep；　undifferentiated　blackness。　It's　now　or　never；　he　thought。　He　stepped　inside。
The　sphere　closed　behind　him。


There　is　darkness；　and　then；　as　his　eyes　adjust；　something　like　fireflies。　It　is　a　dancing；　luminous　foam；　millions　of　points　of　light；　swirling　around　him。
What　is　this？　he　thinks。　All　he　sees　is　the　foam。　There　is　no　structure　to　it　and　apparently　no　limit。　It　is　a　surging　ocean；　a　glistening；　multifaceted　foam。　He　feels　great　beauty　and　peace。　It　is　restful　to　be　here。
He　moves　his　hands；　scooping　the　foam；　his　movements　making　it　swirl。　But　then　he　notices　that　his　hands　are　being　transparent；　that　he　can　see　the　sparkling　foam　through　＇＇332＇＇　his　own　flesh。　He　looks　down　at　his　body。　His　legs；　his　torso；　everything　is　being　transparent　to　the　foam。　He　is　part　of　the　foam。　The　sensation　is　very　pleasant。
He　grows　lighter。　Soon　he　is　lifted；　and　floats　in　the　limitless　ocean　foam。　He　puts　his　hands　behind　his　neck　and　floats。　He　feels　happy。　He　feels　he　could　stay　here　forever。
He　bees　aware　of　something　else　in　this　ocean；　some　other　presence。
〃Anybody　here？〃　he　says。
I　am　here。
He　almost　jumps；　it　is　so　loud。　Or　it　seems　loud。　Then　he　wonders　if　he　has　heard　anything　at　all。
〃Did　you　speak？〃
No。
How　are　we　municating？　he　wonders。
The　way　everything　municates　with　everything　else。
Which　way　is　that？
Why　do　you　ask　if　you　already　know　the　answer？
But　I　don't　know　the　answer。
The　foam　moves　him　gently；　peacefully；　but　he　receives　no　answer　for　a　time。　He　wonders　if　he　is　alone　again。
Are　you　there？
Yes。
I　thought　you　had　gone　away。
There　is　nowhere　to　go。
Do　you　mean　you　are　imprisoned　inside　this　sphere？
No。
Will　you　answer　a　question？　Who　are　you？
I　am　not　a　who。
Are　you　God？
God　is　a　word。
I　mean；　are　you　a　higher　being；　or　a　higher　consciousness？
Higher　than　what？
Higher　than　me；　I　suppose。
How　high　are　you？
Pretty　low。　At　least；　I　imagine　so。
Well；　then；　that's　your　trouble。
Riding　in　the　foam；　he　is　disturbed　by　the　possibility　that　God　is　making　fun　of　him。　He　thinks；　Are　you　making　a　joke？
＇＇333＇＇　Why　do　you　ask　if　you　already　know　the　answer？
Am　I　talking　to　God？
You　are　not　talking　at　all。
You　take　what　I　say　very　literally。　Is　this　because　you　are　from　another　planet？
No。
Are　you　from　another　planet？
No。
Are　you　from　another　civilization？
No。
Where　are　you　from？
Why　do　you　ask　if　you　already　know　the　answer？
In　another　time；　he　thinks；　he　would　be　irritated　by　this　repetitive　answer；　but　now　he　feels　no　emotions。　There　are　no　judgments。　He　is　simply　receiving　information；　a　response。　He　thinks；　But　this　sphere　es　from　another　civilization。
Yes。
And　maybe　from　another　time。
Yes。
And　aren't　you　a　part　of　this　sphere？
I　am　now。
So；　where　are　you　from？
Why　do　you　ask　if　you　already　know　the　answer？
The　foam　gently　shifts　him；　rocking　him　soothingly。
Are　you　still　there？
Yes。　There　is　nowhere　to　go。
I'm　afraid　I　am　not　very　knowledgeable　about　religion。　I　am　a　psychologist。　I　deal　with　how　people　think。　In　my　training；　I　never　learned　much　about　religion。
Oh；　I　see。
Psychology　doesn't　have　much　to　do　with　religion。
Of　course。
So　you　agree？
I　agree　with　you。
That's　reassuring。
I　don't　see　why。
Who　is　I？
Who　indeed？
＇＇334＇＇　He　rocks　in　the　foam；　feeling　a　deep　peace　despite　the　difficulties　of　this　conversation。
I　am　troubled；　he　thinks。
Tell　me。
I　am　troubled　because　you　sound　like　Jerry。
That　is　to　be　expected。
But　Jerry　was　really　Harry。
Yes。
So　are　you　Harry；　too？
No。　Of　course　not。
Who　are　you？
I　am　not　a　who。
Then　why　do　you　sound　like　Jerry　or　Harry？
Because　we　spring　from　the　same　source。
I　don't　understand。
When　you　look　in　the　mirror；　who　do　you　see？
I　see　myself。
I　see。
Isn't　that　right？
It's　up　to　you。
I　don't　understand。
What　you　see　is　up　to　you。
I　already　know　that。　Everybody　knows　that。　That　is　a　psychological　truism；　a　cliché。
I　see。
Are　you　an　alien　intelligence？
Are　you　an　alien　intelligence？
I　find　you　difficult　to　talk　to。　Will　you　give　me　the　power？
What　power？
The　power　you　gave　to　Harry　and　Beth。　The　power　to　make　things　happen　by　imagination。　Will　you　give　it　to　me？
No。
Why　not？
Because　you　already　have　it。
I　don't　feel　as　if　I　have　it。
I　know。
Then　how　is　it　that　I　have　the　power？
How　did　you　get　in　here？
I　imagined　the　door　opening。
＇＇335＇＇　Yes。
Rocking　in　the　foam；　waiting　for　a　further　response；　but　there　is　no　response；　there　is　only　gentle　movement　in　the　foam；　a　peaceful　timelessness；　and　a　drowsy　sensation。
After　a　passage　of　time；　he　thinks；　I　am　sorry；　but　I　wish　you　would　just　explain　and　stop　speaking　in　riddles。
On　your　planet　you　have　an　animal　called　a　bear。　It　is　a　large　animal；　sometimes　larger　than　you；　and　it　is　clever　and　has　ingenuity；　and　it　has　a　brain　as　large　as　yours。　But　the　bear　differs　from　you　in　one　important　way。　It　cannot　perform　the　activity　you　call　imagining。　It　cannot　make　mental　images　of　how　reality　might　be。　It　cannot　envision　what　you　call　the　past　and　what　you　call　the　future。　This　special　ability　of　imagination　is　what　has　made　your…species　as　great　as　it　is。　Nothing　else。　It　is　not　your　ape…nature；　not　your　tool…using　nature；　not　language　or　your　violence　or　your　caring　for　young　or　your　social　groupings。　It　is　none　of　these　things；　which　are　all　found　in　other　animals。　Your　greatness　lies　in　imagination。
The　ability　to　imagine　is　the　largest　part　of　what　you　call　intelligence。　You　think　the　ability　to　imagine　is　merely　a　useful　step　on　the　way　to　solving　a　problem　or　making　something　happen。　But　imagining　it　is　what　makes　it　happen。
This　is　the　gift　of　your　species　and　this　is　the　danger；　because　you　do　not　choose　to　control　your　imaginings。　You　imagine　wonderful　things　and　you　imagine　terrible　things；　and　you　take　no　responsibility　for　the　choice。　You　say　you　have　inside　you　both　the　power　of　good　and　the　power　of　evil；　the　angel　and　the　devil；　but　in　truth　you　have　just　one　thing　inside　you…the　ability　to　imagine。
I　hope　you　enjoyed　this　speech；　which　I　plan　to　give　at　the　next　meeting　of　the　American　Association　of　Psychologists　and　Social　Workers；　which　is　meeting　in　Houston　in　March。　I　feel　it　will　be　quite　well　received。
What？　he　thinks；　startled。
Who　did　you　think　you　were　talking　to？　God？
Who　is　this？　he　thinks。
You；　of　course。
But　you　are　somebody　different　from　me；　separate。　You　are　not　me；　he　thinks。
＇＇336＇＇　Yes　l　am。　You　imagined　me。
Tell　me　more。
There　is　no　more。


His　cheek　rested　on　cold　metal。　He　rolled　onto　his　back　and　looked　at　the　polished　surface　of　the　sphere；　curving　above　him。　The　convolutions　of　the　door　had　changed　again。
Norman　got　to　his　feet。　He　felt　relaxed　and　at　peace；　as　if　he　had　been　sleeping　a　long　time。　He　felt　as　if　he　had　had　a　wonderful　dream。　He　remembered　everything　quite　clearly。
He　moved　through　the　ship；　back　to　the　flight　deck；　and　then　down　the　hallway　with　the　ultraviolet　lights　to　the　room　with　all　the　tubes　on　the　wall。
The　tubes　were　filled。　There　was　a　crewman　in　each　one。　Just　as　he　thought：　Beth　had　manifested　a　single　crewman…a　solitary　woman…as　a　way　of　warning　them。　Now　Norman　was　in　charge；　and　he　found　the　room　full。
Not　bad；　he　thought。
He　looked　at　the　room　and　thought：　Gone；　one　at　a　time。　One　by　one；　the　crew　members　in　the　tubes　vanished　before　his　eyes；　until　they　were　all　gone。
Back；　one　at　a　time。
The　crew　members　popped　back　in　the　tubes；　materializing　on　demand。