gossip girl 12 终结-第34部分

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。　Besides；　there’d　be　plenty　of　time　for　that　later。　“I’ll　just　get　ready。”　Vanessa　smiled；　trying　to　figure　out　what　she　should　wear。　It　had　been　a　long　time　since　she’d　been　to　a　party。

“Oh；　you　want　to　e？”　Hollis　asked　in　surprise。　“Okay；　that’s　cool。　Guys；　want　some　beers？　You　picked　some　up；　right；　babe？”　Hollis　asked　Vanessa；　already　midway　to　the　Sub…Zero　refrigerator。　He　hadn’t　even　taken　off　his　jacket。

Vanessa　shook　her　head　in　disbelief。　Um；　no　she　hadn’t；　and　since　when　was　her　job　to　go　on　beer　runs　for　the　guys　she　didn’t　know　were　ing　over？

“That’s　fine。　We　have　a　bottle　of　wine。”　Hollis　grabbed　the　bottle　of　white　Ruby　had　brought　over　the　other　night。

That’s　mine！　Vanessa　wanted　to　yell。　But　that　was　ridiculous。　It　was　Hollis’s　apartment。　“You　know；　I　think　I’m　actually　going　to　stay　in　for　the　night。　Have　fun；　guys。”　Vanessa　shrugged。

“You　sure？”　Hollis　asked。　“I　won’t　be　home　too　late。　So　good　to　be　back！”　Hollis　said；　kissing　the　top　of　Vanessa’s　head。

Vanessa　collapsed　back　on　the　leather　couch　and　pulled　her　phone　from　the　crevice　behind　the　cushions。　One　new　text。　She　smiled。　It　was　probably　Hollis；　texting　from　a　cab；　sweetly　saying　that　he’d　miss　her　and　that　he’d　be　back　soon。

Instead；　it　was　from　Dan。　Asking　if　she’d　rather　sled　or　eat　his　dad’s　fondue。　She　immediately　thought　of　Rufus；　his　crazy　outfits　and　his　crazier　culinary　creations；　and　then　of　Dan’s　traumatizing　story　about　being　mowed　over　by　a　large　man　on　a　sled　when　he　was　a　kid。　She　laughed　out　loud；　the　tension　of　the　last　half　hour　slowly　seeping　from　her　limbs。

She　looked　down　at　the　keypad　and　quickly　typed　in　I　HATE　SLEDDING。　BRING　ON　THE　FONDUE！

Immediately；　her　phone　lit　up　again：　WOULD　YOU　RATHER　BE　LOCKED　OUT　OF　A　PARTY　IN　TRIBECA　OR　LOCKED　ON　THE　ROOF　OF　YOUR　OLD　APT　IN　WILLIAMSBURG？

Vanessa　smiled。　Dan　was　alluding　to　the　first　time　they’d　met；　when　they’d　both　found　themselves　locked　out　of　a　party　back　in　high　school。　Vanessa　had　e　out　onto　the　fire　escape　to　get　some　air；　and　Dan　had　e　out　for　a　cigarette；　closing　the　fire　door　behind　him　and　locking　them　both　out。　Together；　they’d　climbed　down　the　side　of　the　massive　brick　building；　and　wound　up　at　a　nearby　bar；　talking　late　into　the　night　and　quickly　being　friends。　That　felt　so　long　ago　now。

Vanessa　pulled　her　legs　underneath　her　and　spread　a　blanket　over　her　legs。　It　was　nice　to　hear　from　Dan；　and　especially　nice　that　he　didn’t　seem　to　hate　her　anymore。　Outside；　she　could　hear　people　from　the　bar　across　the　street　talking　and　laughing。　She　smiled　to　herself；　then　texted　back：　DEPENDS　WHO　I’D　BE　LOCKED　OUT　WITH。

Now　who　says　texting　is　impersonal？

tangled　up　in　s…

Serena　scampered　up　the　snowy　hill；　pulling　a　handmade　toboggan　behind　her。　“Natie；　let’s　race！”　she　called；　her　breath　ing　out　in　small　white　puffs。　The　floodlights　outside　the　house　were　on；　casting　the　property　in　an　eerie　glow。　Chuck　and　Blair　were　already　halfway　down　the　hill。　Jenny　was　still　struggling　up　with　her　toboggan。　It　kept　slipping　from　her　mittened　hands　and　sliding　back　down。

“Okay。”　Nate　ran　after　Serena。　It　struck　him　that　they　were　twenty—actual　adults—and　yet　all　they　wanted　to　do　was　act　like　little　kids。　It　was　like　that　dumb　cliché：　The　more　you　change；　the　more　you　stay　the　same。　Maybe　growing　up　was　just　about　being　closer　to　the　person　you　always　were。

And　he　came　up　with　that　without　any　herbal　aid。　Impressive。

“Hey！”　Nate　easily　caught　up　with　Serena；　wrapping　his　arms　around　her　willowy；　athletic　frame。

Serena　whirled　around　to　face　him；　her　blond　hair　whipping　his　face。　She　playfully　pushed　Nate　so　he　took　a　lurching　step　backward　into　a　snowbank。

“No　mercy！”　Nate　yelled；　pulling　her　down　with　him　and　wrestling　her　into　the　snow。

Serena　squealed　in　protest　as　she　wriggled　free；　making　an　impromptu　snow　angel。　Clumps　of　snow　clung　to　her　long　eyelashes。

For　a　second；　Nate　was　transported　back　to　their　sophomore　year；　to　an　afternoon　when　they’d　been　goofing　off　in　the　piles　of　snow　in　his　courtyard。　It　was　the　first　time　he’d　seen　Serena　not　as　plain　old　Serena；　his　best　friend　since　kindergarten；　but　as　a　beautiful　girl。　A　girl　he　loved。

He　hastily　stood　up；　brushing　the　wet　snow　off　the　back　of　his　khakis。

“Here；”　he　offered；　holding　his　hand　out　to　help　Serena　up。

“Thanks。”　Serena　got　to　her　feet；　still　holding　Nate’s　hand。　She　held　his　gaze。　The　air　felt　thick　and　the　world　around　them　seemed　muted。

“Nate；　can　you　help　me？”　Jenny　called　from　the　bottom　of　the　hill。　They　both　looked　up　to　where　she　was　sitting　on　top　of　a　toboggan；　her　cheeks　rosy　from　the　cold。

“Sure；”　Nate　said；　reluctantly　turning　away　from　Serena。

“Watch　out；　he’s　brutal！”　Serena　called　after　them；　trying　not　to　feel　disappointed。　When　Dan　had　refused　to　e　sledding；　it　was　almost　a　relief。　Playing　in　the　snow　had　always　been　something　she　and　Nate　shared。

Nate　grabbed　the　sled　and　tossed　it　halfway　up　the　hill。　He　caught　it　and　ran　the　last　of　the　way；　Jenny　laughing　and　trudging　behind。　They　both　climbed　on　and　he　wrapped　his　arms　around　her　small　frame。　“Let’s　go！”　he　cried；　pushing　them　toward　the　edge　of　the　slope。

As　they　hurtled　down　the　hill　across　the　crisp　fresh　snow；　Jenny　felt　the　sting　of　the　wind　against　her　face。　This　was　nothing　like　traying　at　Waverly；　where　everyone　used　the　dining　hall　trays　to　slide　down　the　teeny…tiny　hill　behind　Dumbarton；　one　of　the　girls’　dorms。　Toboggans　were　so　much　more　authentic　and　quaint。　She　felt　like　one　of　the　sisters　in　Little　Women。　They　were　always　going　sledding　with　their　neighbor　Laurie；　who　was　too　cute　for　his　own　good。

Sort　of　like　a　certain　green…eyed　Adonis　we　all　know　and　love？

The　sled　coasted　to　a　stop　at　the　foot　of　the　hill。　Jenny　breathed　out　in　wonderment。　Fat　snowflakes　circled　furiously　around　them；　and　the　majestic　pine　trees　were　coated　in　white。　She　felt　like　she　was　trapped　in　a　snow　globe。

“Was　that　too　fast　for　you？”　Nate　turned　around；　his　brow　furrowed　in　concern。　His　arms　were　still　circled　tightly　around　her　waist。　She　shook　her　head。

She　knew　what　she　wanted　to　do　when　they　got　back　to　the　house　tonight。　She　was　a　virgin；　and　had　been　waiting　for　the　right　person　and　the　right　time。　Waverly　was　such　a　small　school　and　everyone　knew　everyone’s　business。　Soon　after　she　got　there；　she　realized　that　when　she　did　lose　her　virginity；　she　wanted　it　to　be　with　someone　special；　someone　she　trusted。　Someone　like　Nate。

“Hey　hornyheads！”　Serena　called　cheerfully　as　she　coasted　down　the　hill　by　herself　on　a　red　toboggan。　Jenny　broke　away　guiltily　and　waved。

“Want　to　race？”　Nate　called　to　Serena；　a　devilish　gleam　in　his　eye　as　he　grabbed　the　toboggan　rope　and　began　pulling　it　back　up　the　hill。

“I　want　to　race；”　Blair　called　from　the　other　side　of　the　hill；　where　she　and　Chuck　were　setting　up　their　own　sled。　She　couldn’t　believe　little　Jenny　Humphrey　was　getting　all　cozy　with　Nate　in　front　of　everyone。　Who　the　fuck　did　she　think　she　was？

“You　want　to　steer；　or　should　I？”　Chuck　asked；　gesturing　to　the　sled。

“I　don’t　care。”　Blair　plunked　down　on　the　toboggan。　She　crossed　her　arms；　then　uncrossed　them；　remembering　she　wasn’t　supposed　to　care　about　Nate　anymore。　Chuck　sat　down　behind　her；　stretching　out　his　long　legs　and　crossing　them　over　hers。

“Actually；　I’ve　had　enough。”　Blair　stood　up　abruptly。　“I’m　wet　and　freezing　and　I’m　going　inside；”　she　huffed；　stomping　toward　the　garage。　What　twenty…year…olds　sledded　for　fun？　Serena’s　lame　boyfriend　had　the　right　idea　to　drink　wine　in　the　library　instead　of　ing　sledding。　Maybe　she’d　go　join　him。

Jealousy　loves　pany。

when　the　lights　go　out

Blair　stormed　into　the　sunken　living　room　and　flicked　on　the　Tiffany　lamp　on　the　end　table。　Nothing　happened。　“Don’t　tell　me　the　fucking　power　is　out。”

“Do　you　know　where　the　fuse　box　is？”　Chuck　asked；　ing　up　behind　her。

“Hey。”　Dan　emerged　from　the　library。　“Do　you　know　where　the　fuse　box　is？”　he　asked。

Blair　shook　her　head。　Why　did　boys　care　so　much　about　fuse　boxes？

“I’m　going　to　bed；”　she　announced　haughtily。

Dan　nodded；　squinting　past　Blair　into　the　darkness。　He　could　hear　Serena；　Jenny；　and　Nate　taking　off　their　boots　in　the　kitchen。　Dan　suddenly　felt　guilty　for　abandoning　them。　He　and　Vanessa　had　been　texting　for　the　past　few　hours；　volleying　remember…whens　and　would…you…rathers　back　and　forth。　He　hadn’t　even　noticed　that　the　power　had　gone　off　until　Blair　stomped　in。　It　made　him　worried　that　there　might　have　been　other　things　he　hadn’t　noticed。

Like　that　his　little　sister’s　all　grown　up？

“I　think　we　should　all　go　to　bed；”　Blair　added；　stamping　out　the　memory　of　Nate’s　hands　around　Jenny’s　waist　on　the　hill。　It　was　the　last　thing　she　wanted　to　think　about　right　now。

Upstairs；　Blair　took　a　long　hot　shower　by　candlelight；　trying　to　let　the　water　wash　away　her　nagging　frustrations。　Nate　had　looked　so　happy　tonight；　so　different　from　the　tormented　Nate　of　last　winter。　When　she　closed　her　eyes　she　saw　him　laughing；　tugging　a　toboggan　up　a　hill。　She　saw　him　lobbing　snowballs　at　Serena。　Hugging　Jenny。　She　saw　him　smiling；　his　green　eyes　glittering。　She　stepped　out　of　the　shower　and　toweled　off；　pulling　on　a　Cosabella　tank　top　and　shorts　set　before　heading　into　the　bedroom。　Chuck　was　already　asleep；　his　breathing　deep　and　even。

She　climbed　into　bed　and　lay　next　to　Chuck；　turning　over　so　she　was　lying　on　her　side。　She　couldn’t　get　fortable。　Lying　next　to　Chuck　didn’t　feel　right。　Instead；　she　found　herself　thinking　about　a　certain　attic　bedroom。

Maybe　she　and　Nate　needed　to　talk。　Or　kiss。　One　more　time。　One　last　time。　Just　to　say　goodbye；　so　she　could　get　rid　of　all　the　confusing　feelings　swirling　around　her　brain。　So　that　she　could　finally　enter　her　grown…up　life；　without　any　worries　about　her　past　ing　back　to　haunt　her。　She　swung　her　legs　out　of　bed；　grabbed　a　candle　from　the　antique　oak　dresser；　and　headed　for　the　door。

Next　door；　Serena　lay　awake　in　bed。　Dan　was　sleeping　with　his　cell　phone　clutched　to　his　chest　like　a　tiny　electronic　life　preserver。　She　felt　alone　with　her　jumbled　thoughts。

Being　outside　with　Nate　had　been　so　fun；　so　natural。　She　wasn’t　playful　when　she　was　with　Dan。　She　always　hesitated　for　a　half　second　before　she　said　anything；　worried　she’d　disappoint　him　by　not　sounding　smart。　She　hated　worrying。

She　wondered　what　Nate　was　doing　upstairs。　He’d　seemed　disappointed　when　Blair　wanted　to　go　inside；　like　he　wished　he　could　stay　outside　and　play　forever。　And　that　was　what　Serena　loved　most　about　him。

She　swung　her　feet　onto　the　cold　floor。

There　was　no　way　in　hell　Jenny　was　even　going　to　try　to　sleep。　The　whole　evening—playing　in　the　snow　as　if　she　were　a　heroine　in　a　nineteenth…century　novel；　ing　back　to　a　power　outage；　feeling　Nate’s　warm　breath　on　her　cold　skin—had　been　so　romantic。　And　there　was　no　reason　the　evening　had　to　e　to　an　end。　She　pulled　on　a　camisole　and　the　leggings　she’d　worn　on　her　RISD　tour。　It　wasn’t　ideal；　but　there　was　no　way　she　would　go　upstairs　to　lose　her　virginity　in　one　of　Blair’s　discarded　T…shirts。　The　makeshift　jammies　would　have　to　do。

Okay；　Jenny　wh