gossip girl 10 英文-第3部分

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Um；　maybe　because　he　was　kind　of　a　geek　himself？　

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ABC　Amber　LIT　Converter　v2。02　
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Disclaimer：　All　the　real　names　of　places；　people；　and　events　have　been　altered　or　abbreviated　

　hey　people！　

Just　when　you　thought　it　couldn？t　get　any　hotter；　the　thermometer　rises　another　ten　degrees。　Or　
maybe　that？s　just　my　puter？it？s　practically　overheating　from　your　steamy　e…mails！　It　seems　
people　are　responding　to　the　temperature　by　shedding　clothes　and　getting　wet　。　。　。　and　giving　the　
whole　neighborhood　a　show。　

What　in　tarnation　am　I　talking　about　now？　Well；　we　all　know　that　in　the　Hamptons；　you　can？t　
throw　a　stone　without　hitting　someone　you　know　（like　it？s　any　different　in　Manhattan？！）　Here；　
though；　we　have　actual　yards　and　fences。　Crazy　concept；　huh？　Rows　upon　rows　of　hedges　
separating　the　fabulous　and　beautiful　from　the　fabulous　and　beautiful。　They　say　good　fences　make　
good　neigh…bors；　so　we　should　all　stay　strictly　within　our　own　property；　I　suppose。　But　what　if　
your　neighbor　is　hot　and　occasionally　naked？　This　is　all　a　hypothetical；　of　course。　。　。　。　I　don？t　
actually　know　of　anyone　who　skinny…dips　in　their　pool　and　then　invites　the　neighbors　for　a　visit。　
But　I？ve　been　hearing　rumors　about　and　doing　just　that；　and　you　know　those　girls　are　always　


setting　trends。　You　heard　it　here　first：　time　for　that　fence　to　e　down；　people。　Screw　fences。　
Good　neighbors　make　good　fun。　

So　hello　neighbor　boys；　e　and　find　me。　I？m　lying　out　by　my　pool；　enjoying　my　own　form　of　
A/C：　alcohol/college　boys。　Yawn。　Just　another　day　at　the　office。　
Q：？　
Dear　GG；　
？　
I　know　I　should　be　out　there　at　the　beach　with　the　rest　of　civilized　society；　but　I？m　unfortunately　
trapped　in　the　city　forsummer　school。　Who　knew　they　were　really　so　serious　aboutthat　whole　
attendance　policy　thing？　Anyway；　I？m　freaking　dyingover　here；　it？s　so　hot。　Help！　
？　
？Sweltering　in　the　City　
A：？　
Dear　SITC；　
？　
Poor　thing。　Sounds　like　you　could　use　your　own　doppelganger　right　now！　But　if　that？s　not　an　
option；　here　are　some　quick　fixes　to　stay　cool　in　the　city：　
？　
1）　Find　your　nearest　rooftop　pool。　If　you　don？t　have　a　friend　withher　own　（or　if　she？s　out　of　town　
too）；　try　Soho　House　or　theHotel　Gansevoort。　If　you？re　really　desperate；　buy　yourself　a　kiddie　
pool；　bring　it　up　to　your　roof；　and　don？t　forget　the　hundredbottles　of　Evian。　Now　that？s　what　I　call　
a　private　party。　
？　
2）　The　A/C　at　Barneys　is　to　die　for。　I　suppose　it　isn？t　terriblysunny；　but　if　you？re　trying　on　bikinis；　
it？s　almost　like　being　at　thebeach。　
？　
3）　Three　words：　Tasti　D…Lite。　（Or　is　that　a　two…word　hyphenate？）Okay；　so　Tasti　D　is　totally　five　
years　ago；　but　you　know　you　wantsomething　cool　and　sweet。　And　if　you？re　really　not　going　
tomake　it　to　the　beach　this　summer；　do　me　the　favor　of　forgettingabout　the　calories　and　slurping　up　
some　hazelnut　gelato　fromCones。　Yum。　
？　
4）　You　did　say　you　were　in　summer　school；　right？　Um；　hello；isn？t　it　airconditioned？　If　you　don？t　
know　the　answer；　you　bettercheck　the　attendance　policy　again！　
？GG　

beach　blanket　bingo　rules　and　regulations　

For　you　lucky　ones　staying　cool　at　the　beach；　don？t　worry；　I　haven？t　for…gotten　about　you　either。　
The　most　important　thing　to　remember　this　summer？and　this　is　for　your　own　good；　as　well　as　
everyone　else？s？　is　that　when　New　Yorkers　transport　their　social　scene　from　the　chic　Manhattan　
bars　to　the　sandy　Hamptons　beaches；　we　transport　our　social　rules　as　well。　After　all；　we　have　to　
have　some　kind　of　order　in　place。　So　for　those　not　in　the　know；　the　unspoken　rules　of　beach　


etiquette　that　you　absolutely　must　obey　are：　

1）　Wear　big　sunglasses　if　you？re　going　to　stare。　And　you　know　you？re　going　to。　

2）　Leave　at　least　four　feet　between　your　towel　and　that　of　your　neighbor　（and　that　is　the　bare　
minimum；　only　in　the　direst　of　situations。）　If　you　think　being　packed　like　sardines　in　a　hot　subway　
car　is　bad；　imagine　feeling　that　way　for　four　hours　straight　with　hardly　any　clothes　on。　Nobody　
needs　to　be　that　up　close　and　personal。　

3）　I　don？t　care　if　you？re　Ricky　Martin？no　Speedos；　please！　Actually；　especially　if　you？re　Ricky　
Martin。　Ick。　

4）　Same　goes　for　scary　amounts　of　chest　or　back　hair。　Wax　it　off；　cover　it　up；　or　stay　at　home！　
It？s　that　simple；　gorilla　boys。　

5）　When　rubbing　sunblock　on　a　friend　or　significant　other；　don？t　get　too　frisky。　We？ve　all　seen　
ladies　do　the　girl…on…girl　thing　in　bars　to　get　attention；　and　we？ve　all　seen　couples　making　out　in　
dark　corners；　and　both　those　acts　are　even　tackier　in　broad　daylight。　Trust　me；　there　are　other　ways　
to　get　people　to　notice　you。　I　should　know。　

some　burning　questions　

Running　the　gossip　mill　isn？t　all　parties　and　pi？a　coladas；　you　know？　it？s　a　round…the…clock　job。　
Okay；　fine；　it？s　a　lot　of　parties　and　pi？a　coladas。　Maybe　I？m　not　saving　lives　in　the　ER；　but　I？m　
saving　your　social　lives；　people；　and　that？s　every　bit　as　important。　For　those　non…believers；　I？ll　
share　just　a　few　of　the　questions　that　keep　me　up　late　into　the　night　（when　I　don？t　have　a　party；　
that　is）：　

Could　it　be　true　thatN　has　fallen　for　an　older　woman？　He　was　last　seen　waving　goodbye　to　a　
barely　clothed　older　woman　in　Hampton　Bays。　Interesante。　From　what　I　hear；　it　wouldn？t　be　the　
first　time。　。　。　。　Is　it　also　possible　thatB　andS　are　exploring　their　sapphic　side？again？　Apparently　
they？ve　taken　to　nude　sunbathing　and　to　sharing　a　bed。　Maybe　they？ve　finally　made　it　official！？　
WillV　be　jealous？　I？ve　always　wondered　about　her　and　that　well…groomed　buzz　cut。　Speaking　of　
buzzzzzing；　little　Ms。V　was　seen　taking　a　late…night　swim　last　night　in　a　less…than…flattering　kiddie　
bathing　suit。　Keep　your　eye　out　for　her　bumble…bee…on…holiday　beach　ensemble；　ing　soon　to　a　
beach　near　you。　And　then　there？sD　。　。　。　。　

I　can？t　even　tell　you　how　many　of　you　have　been　e…mailing　me　about　tomorrow　night？s　literary　
salon。　Am　I　missing　out？　I　thought　reading　Proust　in　the　dark　was　for　skinny；　pale　boys　with　
coke…bottle　glasses；　but　according　to　your　e…mails；　some　hottie　bookworms　are　ing　out　and　
they？re　looking　for　love　。　。　。　。　Could　this　be　the　Great　Geek　Matchup？　Well；　just　because　I　won？t　
be　there　doesn？t　mean　I　can？t　help　you　out。　That？s　just　how　generous　I　am。　So　here　you　are；　by　
popular　request。　。　。　。　


proper　etiquette　at　a　literary　salon：　dos　and　don？ts　

DO　。　。　。　pronounce　it　properly：　it？s　saaaah…lon；　not　the　place　on　the　corner　where　all　the　women　
have　long　red　nails　and　you　get　your　hair　cut。　

DO　。　。　。　bring　something　potent　and　interesting　to　drink；　that　means　Pernod；　Chartreuse；　or　ouzo。　
Leave　the　Bud　at　home；　thanks。　

DO　。　。　。　nod　along　to　what　everyone　says；　even　if　you？re　too　busy　checking　out　the　hot　poetry　
nerd　across　the　room　to　actually　listen。　

DON？T　。　。　。　be　totally　silent。　It？s　not　school？there　are　no　wrong　answers？so　just　make　something　
up　to　impress　people。　Or　say　some…thing　in　another　language。　That　never　fails。　

DON？T　。　。　。　be　inflexible。　If　fellow　members　ask　you　to　try　something　new；　remember：　truly　
artistic　types　are　always　willing　to　experiment。　

DON？T　。　。　。　be　surprised　if　things　get　heated。　Emotions　can　run　high　between　stanzas。　

Okay；　kids；　have　a　good　time　with　your　books？and　let　me　know　how　it　all　turns　out。　You　know　
I？m　curious；　and　you　know　what　they　say　about　geeks？　They？re　freaks？in　bed。　Toodles！　

You　know　you　love　me。　
gossip　girl　

guess　v？s　not　in　kansas　anymore　

？Hurry；　hurry！　Vanessa；　hurry　up！？　

The　boisterous　four…year…old　twins　bounced　ahead　of　her；　a　blur　of　elbows　and　curly　hair　and　
Brooks　Brothers　swim　trunks　with　tiny　sailboats　dotted　all　over　them？Nils　in　red　and　Edgar　in　
blue。　They　ran　along　the　wooded　path　to　the　beach；　sending　a　spray　of　sand　into　the　air。　

？Slow　down！？　Vanessa　readjusted　the　massive　pink…and…kelly…green　monogrammed　canvas　tote　
bag　filled　with　fins　and　masks；　rolled…up　Pratesi　beach　towels；　five　kinds　of　sun…block；　Bob　the　
Builder　activity　books；　juice　boxes；　snacks；　plastic　buckets　and　shovels；　a　Frisbee；　a　soccer　ball；　
and　two　video　iPods　loaded　withLittle　Einsteins　shows。　In　her　other　hand；　she　was　holding　a　
massive　navy…and…cream　striped　Smith　&　Hawken　umbrella　that　Ms。　Morgan　had　insisted　she　
bring　along。　

？I　said；slow　down！　？　Vanessa　cried　again；　as　the　bobbing　duo　disappeared　behind　the　dune　ahead。　


She　was　on　the　verge　of　screaming　her　sweaty　head　off　when　she　decided　she　really　didn？t　
care。Whatever。　Go　ahead。　Drown。　Get　kidnapped。　Fuck　if　I　care。　It　would　be　a　blessing。　The　truth　
was；　the　twins　probably　knew　the　beach　as　well　as　they　knew　their　local　Central　Park　playground。　
It　was　she　who　was　lost。　

She　finally　reached　the　crest　of　the　hill　and　surveyed　the　scene：　Nils　and　Edgar　had　vanished　into　
the　thicket　of　bodies　crowding　the　beach；　which　didn？t　seem　to　have　one　bit　of　sand　available。　
Tripping　in　her　black　All　Stars？she？d　pulled　the　laces　out　and　wrongly　assumed　they？d　be　every　
bit　as　fortable　as　flip…flops？Vanessa　wove　through　the　maze　of　blankets；　folding　chairs；　and　
blond；　bronzed　twentysome…things　with　the　pale　kids　they　were　obviously　babysitting。　She　had　
exhausted　her　last　reserve　of　muscle　power　when　she　happened　upon　a　four…foot…square　patch　of　
beach。Thank　God。　She　dropped　the　overstuffed　bag　and　heavy　canvas　umbrella　onto　the　burning　
hot　sand；　then　plopped　down。　

？Just　a　lovely　day　at　the　beach；？　she　muttered　to　herself；　perfectly　mimicking　Ms。　Morgan？s　
dulcet　accent　as　she　dug　around　in　the　basket　for　a　blanket；　which　she　half…heartedly　spread　out　in　
front　of　her　without　even　standing　up。　The　tote　had　fallen　onto　its　side　but　Vanessa　didn？t　bother　
trying　to　stuff　all　the　contents　back　into　it。Stupid；　stupid；　stupid；　she　scolded　herself　as　she　realized　
she？d　neglected　to　bring　anything　for　herself　to　do。　What　she？d　give　to　be　back　in　Manhattan；　
sitting　in　the　cool　dark　of　the　Film　Forum；　watching　the　latest　Todd　Solondz　movie。　Instead　she　
was　sitting　in　the　sand；　the　hot　sun　beating　down　on　her；　with　nothing　to　do　but　pick　the　stubborn　
dried　snot　globs　out　of　the　inside　of　the　twins？　tiny　nostrils　or　read　the　latest　issue　ofHighlights。　

Reading　the　labels　on　the　sunblock　would　actually　be　more　fun。　

Vanessa　scanned　the　scene；　searching　for　a　flash　of　the　twins？　blue　or　red　swim　trunks。　A　few　
brave　nannies　waded　into　the　frigid　Atlantic　surf　with　the　kids　they　were　babysitting；　gritting　their　
teeth　but　laughing。　She　saw　two　little　boys　in　swimsuits　identical　to　Nils？s　and　Edgar？s　and　
wondered　momentarily　if　anyone　at　the　James…Morgan　household　would　even　notice　if　she　
brought　them　home　instead。　

She？d　been　in　the　Hamptons　for　less　than　a　day；　but　it　was　long　enough　to　tell　that　Ms。　Morgan　
was　even　less　interested　than　usual　in　the　boys；　and　that　Mr。　James　Grossman？s　single　check…in　
phone　call　was　pretty　much　the　daily　norm。　It　was　like　they　were　all　a　bunch　of　windup　robots　
programmed　to　perform　their　own　tasks　with　zero　genuine　interaction　with　or　feelings　about　
anyone　else。　Not　that　Vanessa　was　a　mush；　but　e　on。　

It　was　just　eleven　in　the　morning；　and　the　beach　belonged　to　kids　and　their　caretakers。　Vanessa