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时尚女魔头 穿普拉达的恶魔 英文原版-第66部分

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  missing one of the men who knelt in front of her。 “Why the 
  hell was I not informed that I’d be receiving some nonsense 
  award at today’s luncheon?” she hissed; her face contorting 
  with a hatred I’d never seen before。 Displeasure? Sure。 
  Dissatisfaction? All the time。 Annoyance; frustration; 
  generalized unHappiness? Of course; every minute of every day。 
  But I’d never seen her look so downrightpissed off 。

  “Um; Miranda; I’m so sorry; but it was actually Briget’s 
  office that RSVP’d you to the event today; and they never—”

  “Stop speaking。 Stop speaking this instant! All you ever offer 
  me are excuses。You are my assistant;you are the person I 
  designated to work things out in Paris;you are the one who 
  should be keeping me abreast of these things。” She was nearly 
  shouting now。 One of the makeup guys asked softly in English 
  if we would like a moment alone; but Miranda ignored him 
  entirely。 “It’s noon right now and I’ll be needing to leave 
  here in forty…five minutes。 I expect a short; succinct; and 
  articulate speech legibly typed and waiting in my room。 If you 
  cannot acplish this; see yourself Home。Permanently 。 That’s 
  all。”

  I fled down the hallway faster than I’d ever run in heels and 
  whipped open my international Cell Phone before I’d made it 
  into my room。 It was nearly impossible to dial Briget’s work 
  number since my hands were shaking so badly; but somehow the 
  call went through。 One of her assistants answered。

  “I need Briget!” I shrieked; my voice breaking when I 
  pronounced her name。 “Where is she?Where is she? I need to 
  talk to her。Now! ”

  The girl was momentarily shocked into silence。 “Andrea? Is 
  that you?”

  “Yes; it’s me and I need Briget。 It’s an emergency—where the 
  hell is she?”

  “She’s at a show; but don’t worry; she always has her Cell 
  Phone on。 Are you at the hotel? I’ll have her call you right 
  back。”

  The phone on the desk rang a mere few seconds later; but it 
  felt like a week。 “Andrea;” she lilted in her lovely French 
  accent。 “What is it; dear? Monique said you were hysterical。”

  “Hysterical? Damn right I’m hysterical! Briget; how could you 
  do this to me? Your office made the arrangements for this 
  fucking luncheon and no one bothered to tell me that she is 
  not only receiving an award but also expected to give a 
  speech?”

  “Andrea; calm down。 I’m sure we told—”

  “And I have to write it! Are you listening to me? I have 
  forty…five fucking minutes to write an acceptance speech for 
  an award I know nothing about in a language I don’t speak。 Or 
  I’m finished。 What am I going to do?”

  “All right; relax; I’m going to walk you through this。 First 
  of all; the ceremony is right there; at the Ritz; in one of 
  the salons。”

  “The what? Which salon?” I hadn’t had a chance to look around 
  the hotel yet; but I was reasonably sure there weren’t any 
  pubs in the place。

  “It is French for; oh; what do you call them? Meeting rooms。 
  So; she will only need to go downstairs。 It is for the French 
  Council on Fashion; an organization here in Paris that always 
  has its awards during the shows because everyone is in 
  town。Runway will be receiving an award for fashion coverage。 
  It is not such a; how do you say; big deal; almost like a 
  formality。”

  “Great; well at least I know what it’s for。 What exactly am I 
  supposed to write? Why don’t you just dictate in English and I 
  can get Monsieur Renaud to translate it; OK? You start。 I’m 
  ready。” My voice had regained some confidence; but I could 
  still barely grip the pen。 The bination of exhaustion; 
  stress; and hunger was making it hard to focus my eyes on the 
  Ritz stationery that was laid out on my desk。

  “Andrea; you are in luck again。”

  “Oh; really? Because I’m not feeling so lucky right now; 
  Briget。”

  “These things are always conducted in English。 There is no 
  need for translation。 So you can write it; yes?”

  “Yes; yes I’ll write it;” I mumbled and dropped the phone。 
  There wasn’t even time to consider that this was my very first 
  chance to show Miranda that I was capable of doing something 
  more sophisticated than fetching lattes。

  After I hung up and began typing away at sixty words a minute— 
  typing was the only useful class I’d taken in all of high 
  school—I realized the whole thing would only take two; maybe 
  three minutes for Miranda to read。 There was just enough time 
  to gulp some of the Pellegrino and devour a few of the 
  strawberries someone had thoughtfully left on my small bar。If 
  only they could’ve left a cheeseburger; I thought。 I 
  remembered that I had tucked a Twix bar in my luggage that had 
  been neatly piled in the corner; but there wasn’t time to look 
  for it。 Exactly forty minutes had passed since I’d received my 
  marching orders。 It was time to see if I’d passed。

  A different—but equally as terrified—maid answered Miranda’s 
  door and ushered me into the living room。 Obviously; I 
  should’ve remained standing; but the leather pants I’d been 
  wearing since the day before felt like they were permanently 
  stuck to my legs; and the strappy sandals that hadn’t bothered 
  me so much on the plane were beginning to feel like long; 
  flexible razor blades affixed to my heels and toes。 I chose to 
  perch on the overstuffed couch; but the moment my knees bent 
  and my butt made contact with the cushion; her bedroom door 
  flew open and I instinctively launched to my feet。

  “Where’s my speech?” she asked automatically; while yet 
  another maid followed after her holding a single earring that 
  Miranda had forgotten to put in。 “You did write something; did 
  you not?” She was wearing one of her classic Chanel 
  suits—round collars with fur trim—and a looping strand of 
  extraordinarily large pearls。

  “Of course; Miranda;” I said proudly。 “I think this will be 
  appropriate。” I walked toward her since she was making no 
  effort to retrieve it herself; but before I could offer her 
  the paper she snatched it from my hand。 I didn’t realize until 
  her eyes had finished moving back and forth that I’d been 
  holding my breath。

  “Fine。 This is fine。 Certainly nothing groundbreaking; but 
  fine。 Let’s go。” She picked up a matching quilted Chanel purse 
  and placed the chain handle over her shoulder。

  “Pardon?”

  “I said; let’s go。 This silly little ceremony starts in 
  fifteen minutes; and with any luck we’ll be out of there in 
  twenty。 I truly loathe these things。”

  There was no way to deny that I’d heard her say both “let’s” 
  and “we”: I was definitely expected to go with her。 I glanced 
  down at my leather pants and fitted blazer and figured that if 
  she had no problem with it—and I certainly would’ve heard if 
  she had—then what did it really matter? There would probably 
  be fleets of assistants roaming around; tending to their 
  bosses; and surely no one would care what we were wearing。

  The “salon” was exactly what Briget had said it would be—a 
  typical hotel meeting room; plete with a couple dozen round 
  luncheon tables and a slightly raised presentation stage with 
  a podium。 I stood along the back wall with a few other 
  employees of various kinds and watched as the president of the 
  council showed an incredibly unfunny; uninteresting; wholly 
  uninspired movie clip on how fashion affects all of our lives。 
  A few more people hogged the mike for the next half hour; and 
  then; before a single award had been presented; an army of 
  waiters began bringing out salads and filling wine glasses。 I 
  looked warily at Miranda; who appeared acutely bored and 
  irritated; and tried to shrink smaller behind the potted tree 
  I was currently leaning against to keep from falling asleep。 I 
  can’t be sure how long my eyes were closed; but just as I lost 
  all control of my neck muscles and my head started to nod 
  forward uncontrollably; I heard her voice。

  “Ahn…dre…ah! I don’t have time for this nonsense;” she 
  whispered loudly enough that a few Clackers from a nearby 
  table glanced up。 “I wasn’t told that I would be receiving an 
  award; and I wasn’t prepared to do so。 I’m leaving。” And she 
  turned around and began striding toward the door。

  I hobbled after her but thought better of grabbing her 
  shoulder。 “Miranda? Miranda?” She was clearly ignoring me。 
  “Miranda? Whom would you like to accept the award on behalf 
  ofRunway ?” I whispered as quietly as I could and still have 
  her hear me。

  She whipped around and stared me straight in the eyes。 “Do you 
  think I care? Go up there and accept it yourself。” And before 
  I could say another word; she was gone。

  Oh my god。 This wasn’t happening。 I would surely wake up in my 
  own; unglamorous; negative…thread…count…sheeted bed in just a 
  minute and discover that the entire day—hell; the entire 
  year—had just been a particularly horrid dream。 That woman 
  didn’t really expect me—thejunior assistant—to go up there and 
  accept an award forRunway ’s fashion coverage; did she? I 
  looked around the room frantically to see if anyone else 
  fromRunway was attending the lunch。 No such luck。 I slumped 
  down in a seat and tried to figure out whether I should call 
  Emily or Briget for advice; or whether I should just leave 
  myself since Miranda apparently cared nothing about receiving 
  this honor。 My Cell Phone had just connected to Briget’s 
  office (who I was hoping could make it over there in time to 
  take the goddamn award herself) when I heard the words “。 。 。 
  extend our deepest appreciation to AmericanRunway for its 
  accurate; amusing; and always informative fashion coverage。 
  Please wele its world…famous editor in chief; a living 
  fashion icon herself; Ms。 Miranda Priestly!”

  The room erupted into applause at precisely the same moment I 
  felt my heart stop beating。

  There was no time to think; to curse Briget for letting this 
  all happen; to curse Miranda for leaving and taking the speech 
  with her; to curse myself for ever accepting this hateful job 
  in the first place。 My legs moved forward on their 
  own;left…right; left…right; and climbed the three steps to the 
  podium with no incident whatsoever。 Had I not been utterly 
  shell…shocked; I might have noticed that the enthusiastic 
  clapping had given way to an eerie silence as everyone tried 
  to figure out who I was。 But I didn’t。 Instead; some greater 
  force prompted me to smile; reach out to take the plaque from 
  the severe…looking president’s hands
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